just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
