she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
