Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
