i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
