At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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