Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
