Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We named our party play list daddy issues
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
