'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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