you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
