if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
