I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
