this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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