Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and she was petting her beer can
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
