i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
