Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
