wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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