And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
