he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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