Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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