dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
