He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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