I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
