Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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