dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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