2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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