South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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