So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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