I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
