i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
