He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
