glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
