Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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