this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
