Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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