I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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