Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
