why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
