she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
