I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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