He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
