I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
