She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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