And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
