Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
