Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
