i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you had me at cake vodka
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
