Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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