just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize
