You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
