so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
